sshuckish

worst day of school today. first thing i had p.e today. my k0r sent me to school. then i couldn pay attention to geography. because i was feelings really really fucked up. saw mustaqim in the morning. waved to him but he didn even smile back. so yeah after that syaf told me he cried. i'm really sorry for even causing him to cry.
i feel like a slut. seriously. and so does everyone else. considering how they avoid me at school. and of course. i had this thing of being sacarstic to people when i'm in a really bad mood. and i guess that kinda upsetted maliah. sorry maliah. i couldn control it.
and then i saw hadi after his p.e. seriously i didn even say hi. i was just staring into space. i hate myself.for hurting him. i dont like anyone now. its that i'm not ready for a relationship. maybe further in the year i would. but definately not this point of time. and i dont think anyone could understand. and right. recess was a story of me being abandoned by someone. seriously. no one talked to me. and i only talked to bing xiang and zurhairi. tyahnks guys. after recess was chinese and we had a test. by which i dont think i would do well. and that fucking bitch teacher scolded me. to hell with her.
after that was maths. maliah smiled at me but i didn smile back. i guess today is the worstest bad mood day ever.
and then it was lunch.
i met with darryl he han and michael.
we started talking about some sexual stuff in like masturabtion nation.it was really funny. but i just couldn laugh even though darryl was laughing till his face went red though.
was it a wrong thing to tell him that i wasn ready for a relationship ? at first i thougt it was alright. but come to think of it. i'm not sure now. we're liek drifting apart already. he doesn even talk to me. needless to say even say hi..
i know it was my fault for not telling him earlier but its like.. the night before then i had a chance to clear my thoughts.
which is who do i really like. and after that night i realised i didn want to liek anyone. and that i wasn ready for a relationship.
yeah i'm a bitch.
real bitch thru and thru.
everyone should ignore me and hate me. all the best. i should transfer to another school.
i really hate that feeling.
and i knwo i hurt him realy deeply.
whats done cant be undone.
and all i can say is.
sorry for hurting you.
your a great guy.
but i'm seriously not into relationships now.
sorry ):