new blog ! (:
www.sourplainmelody.blogspot.com

blog reopen

hahaa, i know i'm fickle minded.
but anyways,
away with those tears & emotions,
its weird, why i heal so fast,
am i ?

i dont know, perhaps its all a facade ?
its time i should get over him.

i will, & i must !
enough of crying for now & today, no more crying !

melissa you shant be emo & cry anymore !
treasure who loves youuuu!

that shall be my new year's resolution :D

yay! GO MELISSA!

blog closed ?

to close or not close down my blog, i prolly should, my life's fucked up enough.

campppppp

haha, camp's alright yeah people ?
hollyyyy,
just now while i was talking to him,
he was like,
" hey brb, i'll go sms my girlfriend "
i was like, " wthh.. "
then i was like " who, tell me "
he's like " my classmate, some girl, she's really nice "
i was like " omgomgomgomggomgomg, "
then silence,
then he's like,
" melissa, i'm kidding la, its so fun to play with you "
i was so relieved can!

he's now studying biology,
lets hope he scores really well :)

i'm bored ,
this is so freaking weird,

i've realised something,
we dont always get what we want in life.
in fact, we get what we dont want in life.

i dont know anything for now,
all i know is,
i want to study well,
do what i need to do.
& continue liking him.
hopefully something might happen.
but nooo,
some stupid things happen & nothing goes well.

him1, him2 and him3.
3 different guys btw.

like whatever uh.
how can i make any decisions when i like him1 alot alot ?
so yeah, sorry but its like this for the time being.
i'm sorry if i did hurt anyone,
i really am.

MALIAH,
thanks babe, for being there for me always, i love you (:

KHENG,
thanks ah kor, for comforting me when i'm down, me thank you :)

HAIKAL,
thanks abg, for being there for me whenever i'm feeling down, me thank you (:

AMANI,
thanks dudette, for comforting me all the time :)

HADI,
boy thanks for all that comforting you did :) really appreciate it :D

MARIA,
girrl, thank you for being my best friend since 2005 :D i love you :D

GWEN,
darling cousin, me love you :D:D thanks for being my bestest cousin! (:(:

MIA, NO MORE

abseiling :D
this was how high it was, 3 storeys or so high ?
raj, like me, got stuck there too.






okay people,
the secondary 2 crestians are back from camp, finally !
we started monday with our own groups, planning how to hike our way to bukit timah hill.
then after that we headed to dairy farm adventure camp.
it was creepy at first, thinking how we had to spend our 3 days & 2 nights in a remoted area.
then after that, we had lunch & then we went for our expedition at bukit timah hill.
turns out we already have a designated map, just to see how we find our way up.
2/7 didn get to go though, there was a thunder storm approaching.
then came back & had some snacks before going for the blind-folded walk,
seriously funn, Ganesh was our illumnaii ( sp )

i was freaking scared so i grabbed anything i could feel, poor ganesh ended up with scratches on his arm, sorry !
then we had dinner with the rest of the classes & then went for the night walk at about 7.30+
golly i swear its fucking scary.
it wasn the typical type of night walk, it was a walk inside the jungle !
had to walk in a single file, so adli then azlin then me then nabil.
the 4 besties walked together.
then it got really dark, azlin got really scared she started crying.
i was shivering cold shit man, binxiang comforted me, thanks binxiang :)

then came back at about 9+
ate & bathed and all, first time bathing in a guys toilet -.-
with azlin & crystal, it was utterly so embarrassing.
like what you have , we also have, that thing ??
then got dressed & went to sleep,
cried to sleep though, because there was something bothering me.

then the next day, woke up early & changed & all,
breakfast was nice & then we went to the obstacles course.
first we did abseiling. ( top picture )
it was to teach us how to come down safely & fast.
then next up, we did rope course.
wasn that scary because there was ropes to hold on.
the next was rock-climbing,
rather hard because of the curves & alll, pathetic la.
we all went for lunch after that though.

after lunch we went back to the obstacles course & did challenge rope.
sadly i was sitting in front of the instructor,
& did i mention, mr san told him to put me high high -.-
then i was the demostrator can ! was freaking scared cos i was first..
( top picture with raj in it )

then i climbed to the top already, the same position as Raj, then i got really really scared.
ask my classmates how much i cried & begged the instructor to let me climb down,
but NOOOO, he didn let me.
i had to sit on the about 25 cm apart metal thingy only, looking down made me cry even more.
then i was like, 1..2..3 jump!
then i pushed myself off, & i cried even more.
i've never felt so scared, like my heart was coming out already, i was so super relieved to be on the floor, the nice floor.

then Chia Thong accompanied me to the toilet, golly my eyes were swollen like fcuk !
after that i saw others do the same thing, surprisingly , none of the rest were like me, none cried, none shouted, just me -.-
i feel utterly pathetic can.
instructor name was : Mint, haha, cool name.
then i was helping him belay those players while Maliah was the supporter.

it was rather fun, & then there was illumnaiis called Yi Kang, Mahir, Salleh, Ganesh and more.
all guys BTW, ahaha, then at night we were busy copying this thingy, bronze award NYAA thingy.
just came home, fcuking tired !
want to go get some sleep already,
nights world.

what am i supposed to think or do now ?
i am independant, i will be.
but you dont know, there are times,
when we girls have our softer side.
i'm still waiting alright.
i care about anything,
anything concerning you.
prolly i'm just a toy to you.
a toy, a normal toy.
i dont know.
everything's a blur.

4th post for the day

4th post for the day.
pathetic i know !
today's so boringgggg.
packed the camp stufff.
i tell you i'm being so uptight.
but dont know why, i just am.
fuckkk me !

godd kill me.
i'm having a fever :(
sickening la !
come at this time.


i hateeee myself cannn!

why am i such a fucking fool.
whyy ?!
first you tell me you have a certain liking for me.
now you say you absolutely have no feelings towards me.
why am i such a fucking fool to actually believe everythingggg !?!?!?!??!?!?!?
melissa,
you should just fucking go and diee,
stick your head somewhere & cry for fuck's sake.

i hate myself, to the utter core.
to think i was so naive.
thought everything was picking up.
thought everything was going to be smooth sailing, or something near.
but nooo, it was fucking stupidity on my part.
i trusted what you said.
i trusted everything you said,
& now you crush them all once again.
you think its easy let go ?
you think so ?
its nott!
ugh forget it okay.
its always like this,
you built up that confidence in me,
& then here you come crushing it again.
it hurts so badly,
i want to hide somewhere for now.
k.
melissa is fucking crying.

i want this bag cannnnnnnnn! dadddyyyyy buyyy for meee pleaseeeee.

• about 8" x 10" x 2.75" (W x H x D)
• made of fine nylon & pvc
• water proof
• 1 pcs
• mint condition; never been used

i love anything that is RED or has elmo in it or anything sweeet :)

back from shopping.

elmo is love :)
i dont know why, i look so blurr man.

iam back from shoppinggg !
first me & maliah went to KFC to grab some quick & very ardious lunch.
we saw this 2 guys, so funny, tell me who puts their ciggs on their ears ?
look like some coffee shop uncle can !

i was laughing really madlyyy,
then after that we went to bata to get maliah's shoes,
then went to ice-lemon tee, to choose someone's present.
but next week then we're buying.
then bought me darlinggg elmooo, omgomgomg, its sooo cutee can!

haha then we walked aboutt shop shop.
then went to NTUC to get my stufff & all.
but couldn find them, so decided to walk to central to buy them.
bought my rafiaaa sttring already then bought battery for the dear torch.
then after that, me & maliah went to get some bubble teaaa,
then she sent me homeee,
before taking the bus home :)
i love my maliahhh :D

he's having a bad day again.
i dont know how to cheer him up,
boy, you know i'm here for you,
always, & i really hope that you would at least, open up.
like you said last night,
bottling up your feelings would make people feel awful.
so dont bottle up your feeling can ?
you dont know how much i'm worried about you.
you dont know how much i care for you,
you have no idea.
boy, please, you have me, as a good friend.
i'll do anything, just to see you smile.
thats how much i care.
even liking you, makes me turn into a idiot,
i dont mind.
i'm already one.
now you're out with your friends doing a literature project,
i miss you so.
hope you have a good day & stop being emo or have any bad days from no on, okays ?
smile boy :)
too bad i'm sticking with you.
i'm worse than a super glue.
dont try pushing me away,
i cant push myself away from you either.
we're good friends aren't we ?
imy!

nightmares >;|

i hate hate hate hate hate nightmares i tell you !
first he was having nightmares, so he woke up consecutively.
then he went to sleep already, i went to sleep.
couldn be bothered staying up to do anything,
since i'm supposed to meet maliah today like in 5 minutes at her house there,
so we go shopping for our camp stuff.
so semangat i know.

then this morning,
i had this really really bad nightmares,
all of a sudden, i dont know why.
i recently didn get any nightmares seyhh.
then i dreamt of this 2 kidnappers,
calling me a slut & a whore,
then slapped me & kept me & my friends in a dark enclosed area.
at first i had my torch, so it was alright.
then after that it died on me,
so i screamed like shit.
then i kept hearing footsteps & high-pitched screamingggg!!
then i kicked whatever that came to me,
& so i kicked my bedside,
my foot hurts :(

it was seriously scary i tell you.
i dont know why i dreamt of this type of things.
do they mean anything ?

today

tuning in to.
gone so young
by amber pacific.
simply gorgeousss :)

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I've lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...

Tonight...

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just know
I'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight.


i dont know why i cry when i hear thiss..,
melissa you're so unpredictable!

anyways, today was guitar class & tuitions.
had to meet bryan at white sands to pass him his music file because he left it in gwen's bag.
& gwen went back to perth already, so it was stuck at my place.
but yeah,
then came home & chatted with him on msn.
went for tuition & something happened.
i got really perked up & in turn, didn concentrate for tuition :(
tell me i should stick my head down a hole.
hahah.

its like this, why did i like wait until the whole day,
so happy, but uhh, nevermindd.
hopefully he could call sometime soon.
really hope sooooo.

listening to amber pacific,
over & over again,
somehow it reflects how i feel about everythingggg.
first heard the song from gwen's ipod classic.
then noww, haikal sent me the song.
so yeahs.
& i have bleeding love too.

i love both songs, like i seriously do.
maliah's computer is finally healthy again! (:
threee cheers for sweet smiles !
hahaha

sleeping soon, i'm having a really really bad headache >;|
why come at this time !?!
urghh.

okay, nights people.
i really should smile even more & stop being a crazy ass.

happy 220th post (:

happy 220th post, as i said above :)
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg
as you can seee, i'm super duper uper spastic now.
because because, today for the very first time in what, 5 months, no wait 6 months since i know him, & liked him, he called me on the phoneeeeee.
its seriously the first timeeeee!
i was hyperventilating, for the very first time oke!

he says i've got a accent, do i ?
he says i do, but i dont think so.
haha, && he enjoys talking to me :)
he sounds so cute on the phone can,
like seriously hotttt, & it kinda melted me :)

gollyyy, wait wait, i'm so not obssessing oke!
its just that i'm really surprised,
like really surprised.
i thought he wanted to call me, because he wanted to tell me something bad, didn think he was calling just to ask if i was alright,
awww.

& i guess my reaction was really weird, cos while on the phone with him,
i was scratching this metal thing, until scrapes of metal peeling were on my fingers.
that was my reaction, over i know.

i still freaking cant believeeeee,
he sounds so awesomely cuteee & gorgeouss :D
i'm glad he called me, because i know i wont have the courage to do so :P
i tried asking him beforee, but he said prepaid low or something.
haha.

today must be the best day alive, YET.
hahaha.

anways, finally its the weekends.
how i miss my darling computer, on the verge of growing fungus because i haven touched it much.
& its the level camp on monday to wednesday, tell me people, how am i supposed to survived ?!
& it'll be at the MOE dairy farm,
heard its haunted..
zomgzomgzomgzomg.

i'm going to pack a super duper big big big bag for it.
i dont care, everything i'll bring.
everything, perhaps i'm going to bring on of my teddys too :)
i know i'm childish, but tell me, who aint childish at heart ?
i am, proud of that too :D

fridays are normally the best because the entire day we just slack, cos art, then eng & then DNT, thats all, & after that with the super duper uper boring maths tuition.
so yeah, but overall, rating for today,
4.5 stars :D

I'M SO SO SO BORED,
daddy was watching supernatural just a while ago, i got scared,
haha.
& i stayed back in school today to watch maliah become the belayers.
its for camp btw, they have to learn how to support people to push them to high areas.
heard from haikal, when hes time for camp, there was a girl who broke her leg because his friend wasn heavy enough to support her weight.
well, thinking about that, i think i might be a little scared.

&& btwbtwbtw,
ever heard of doing projects doing camp ?!
i have a english project oke !
but with chia thong, bin xiang, joshua and aizat.
i'm the photographer :):)
then chia thong's the editor,
aizat's the writer.
so the rest is up to bin xiang and joshua to choose.
our topic is meal times :D
yay, i guess its going to be good :D

&&&&&&&& i'm scaredddd.
someone call me at night to chat with me cannnnnn
pleasepleasepleaseee.
i'm doing night duty :( :( :( :(

i'm scared !

aftermath

today i did something extraordinary.
i did my homework, i paid attention in class, i'm extra nice to mommy & daddy.
funny thing, i want casholaaaaaa.
i'm not say broke la, because i'm not, but who wouldn feel better with more casholaaa in their wallets ?
i am so bored, today class was super good, because its the first time, without a teacher, we did our homework in silence, wait, no in silence, but pretty much close to that. and then everyone passed them up !
and wait, shit, i haven done my science workbook corrections -.-
& then, my chinese book review.
& then what.. geography !
god, & then today mr ong told us about this guy, he was simply awesome babe.
he's simply so mind-blowing ! i'm like flabbergasted. he's like without limbs and all. but yet he has the courage to carry on with life, kudos to him.

NICK VUJICIC.

sometimes i already feel pathetic, & feel like my life's awful & all.
thinking back, i dont know i have, i didn know how to appreciate what i have.
he, has no limbs, no nothing, but yet, he is determined to carry on with his life, leading it to the best of his abilities, i'm simply speechless.
its so pathetic, thinking back, how i felt everything, scoldings, quarrels & special friendships goes awry & i start whining, complaining about how shitty my life is, comparing mine & his, i realise, i'm really much better off, in terms of life, i'm far much better.
i have friends who love me, i have friends who hate me, i have people who critises me, but i dont get bullied.

melissa, be contented.

Nick, he fought for his rights, he was determined, maybe its that determination i should hold on to as well, towards everything.

determine to like him no matter what happens.
determine to improve everything
determine to be myself, always.

pictures to keep you happy (:

this is the jocie guo i'm telling you about. she's cute isnt she ? she's from my primary school (: && she has really skinny legs, oh, HOW ENVIOUS !
fine i admit i did pose for this shot, ahaha, then again, who doesn pose ? & thats my elmo present from shafiq ! (:
" up your imagination.. " haha, & thats the pretty nadiah from 2/1 ! (:
thats me, in school uniform, in maliah house, in maliah's room, with maliah's mirror :D
thats me & maliah, my darling bestieeeee ! :}:}:}

[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i dont need you to stand me
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
who cares anyways
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you changed like so fucking much
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i dont know you anymore
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you said to people you cant stand me
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i dont need that
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i can be on your nerves.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
got think you're on mine too.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
wel you're on my nerves too
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
dont think of the world just you & yourself
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
erm
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
if u were once my fren
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
if so, you might as well go join a private school
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
wen i change
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u shld tell me
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
n nt continue with this thing
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i did fucking tell you
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
wen?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you didn want to fucking listen
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
long ago.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
last year.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
tt was last year
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
how abt this year
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u shld know how stubborn n i
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
m*
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
its not a matter of being stubborn
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
its you
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you're changing
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
not the stubborness.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u shld haf told me
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
I DID FUCKING TELL YOU
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
stubborness is apart of me.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
hello ?! did you read the messages ?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
erm...
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u shld haf told me earlier
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
n im trying to change one by one
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
I FUCKING TOLD YOU LAST YEAR
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
YOU'RE NOT EVEN CHANGING AT ALL
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
yes i am
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
i gt another prob ok
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
YOU'RE GETTING WORSER
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
yes tts true
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
LIKE WHO CARES ! YOU'RE MAKING OUR LIFE FUCKING HELL
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
reli?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
then step out of it
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i'm already fucking out of it
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
I'M STANDING UP FOR THEM NOW
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ohk
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
& THOSE WHO YOU TREAT LIKE FUCK
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
fine
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
then dont chat with me lar cn?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
DO I FUCKING SOUND LIKE I'M CHATTING WITH YOU ?!
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
no
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
WAKE UP.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
already m
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
YOU CAN FUCKING GO TELL EVERYONE YOU DID NOTHING
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
BUT YOU KNOW YOU DID, YOUR CONSCIENCE WILL HAUNT YOU DOWN
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
reli?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
maybe urs too will haunt u down
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
haunt me for hwta ?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
*what
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
haunt me for standing up to you & pointing out everything ?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i think i fucking did a right thing !
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ok den
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u shld haf told me nicely
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
n i will treat u nicely
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
hello !? i tried being nice ! but what? i got called behind the back ? why in the world would i be so stupid again to treat you nicely
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
well
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
& why the fuck would i talk to you nicely now when your'e being hypocritical ?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
who strated it first
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ahahaha
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ya tts rite
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you're simply shameless.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
oh ya
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
i seriously forgotten abt tt
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
slut.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
oh yea
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
im a slut
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
a whore
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
a flirt
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
anymore else?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
thats so correct, i'm so happy that you actually realised.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
YAY!!!
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
GO ME!!
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you realised i'm not even laughing.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
reli?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
then u shld
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
why the fuck would i laugh ?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
how wld i knoe
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
AHAHAHAHAHAAHA
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
no shame man.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
no shame
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i pity you
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
dont need
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
cuz im proud of it
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
yeah ? you should despise yourself then
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
y?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
its up to me
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
haf u heard tt phrase
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
it IS up to you.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
but not up to YOU when it involves everyone else.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
get it ?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ahahah
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
no
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
cuz im a moron
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
remember?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
thickskin.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
no
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
i wonder why he is so blind
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
im quite thin actually
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
he is
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u dunno meh
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
yeah blind to have steaded with you.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ya.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
i agree much
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
blind to not see the THIS YOU
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ya
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
lyk hakim steaded with u
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
hey you know what, you can go on acting dumb & whatsoever.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
YAY!!!!
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
we all know you're a slut through & through
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you can deny to know that yourself
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
everybody knows tt
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
yea i cld
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
good that you know.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ya.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
im proud of it
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
remember?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u gt a bad stm man
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
seriously, i'm not fucking giving a damn if i've nb cb stm
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
stop acting as if you know nothing
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
okay, fuck it.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ok
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
im nt dumb
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u want me to act clever
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
this how it goes
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
fuck la ! you lead your fucking life, dont fucking involve her,
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
she's had enough of your nonsense.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ok
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
fine
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u cn haf her
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
i dont mind
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
she's NOT a fucking TOY
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you dont say have her
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ok
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
she cn hate me
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
dont you fucking insult her.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
i nvr insult her
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
whatever.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you did.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ok den
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
insult
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you refered her as a tyo
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
*toy
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
no i didnt u did
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
dont fucking give that bullshit.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
u said toy first
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
dont act dumb
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
please,
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ok
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
go to everyone & bitch about me, turn them against me, i dont give a fuck !
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
did i say i wanna do tt?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you always do
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
no need to say
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
reli?
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ahahahaha
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ya i forgotten abt tt thing too
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you forgot about everything
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ya
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M YOUR EMOTIONLESS SUCKER.[/c] says:
you wont have much true friends.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M YOUR EMOTIONLESS SUCKER.[/c] says:
seriously.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ohk
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
so?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M YOUR EMOTIONLESS SUCKER.[/c] says:
nothing, just typing it out for YOU to see.
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ohk
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
ty
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
for the advice
SHE SAYS/ TALK :
appreciate it loads.

am i bitchy ? i think i am.

forget it mans.
he's in so much troubles,
i should just shut up.
i cant even help him feel better.
i feel so useless.
what can i do !
rawr, i hate myself being like this.
i want to help you so badly,
but yet i cant :(
i'm so uselesss.
& i seriously, want to be there for you, no matter what happens.
i will, i'll try my best (:
trust me.

bleahhsss

forget it all.
i'm going to try forgetting the fact that i liked you.
i'm going to try everything.
melissa, youre such a ass.

i hate myself for being melissa.
i hate myself not being able to let go at all.
i hate myself for being so stupid.
i hate myself for not being able to forget everything.
i hate myself for being such a bitch.

i hate this.

someone please wake me up.

the thing

alright, so she said sorry.
if she apologizes to them, i'm alright with it.
i'm fighting for their rights.

SHE SAYS / TALK :
sry if it insults u so much
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
its not me
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
its YOUR friends.
SHE SAYS / TALK :
sry bt i gt no tym
SHE SAYS / TALK :
im just kidding
SHE SAYS / TALK :
too bad if they are too sensitive
SHE SAYS / TALK :
i will apologise ok
SHE SAYS / TALK :
SRY
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
its not a matter of being senstive.
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you just dont get it do you ?
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
you think everything cn be kidding ?
SHE SAYS / TALK :
ok fine
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
there's still a limit
SHE SAYS / TALK :
i know ok
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
if you dont know
[c=14] MELISSA, I'M SELF-DISTRUCTIVE.[/c] says:
go ask YOUR bf to teach you
SHE SAYS / TALK :
sry i gtg now
SHE SAYS / TALK :
bye


this is shit, why say you're kidding ?
i suggest you go check up the dictionary or ask your BOYFRIEND, whats the extend of kidding/joking.
eh wait, dont, ask your mom instead, i bet she can offer much more better reason than your BOYFRIEND because your BOYFRIEND kept on saying people stingy eyh. wtf la !
not everything can be done with a " i'm sorry. "
you dont know how much you hurt your friends, you dont know what all these is about actually.
i'll show you, i'll prove to you have inside you're insensitive ! not them being sensitive.
why not i come over to you & comment about everything you do ?
no wait, not enough impact,
your BOYFRIEND coming over to you, & commenting on everything you do, everything you say, however you walk and all !
can you imagine that pain ? its how you treat them.

our class is full enough of this political shit, dont add them in.

stereotypes

talking about this again.
i'm really mad at this.
you know who you are, if you happen to read my blog, please get ready for whatever i'm shooting to you.

you, time and time i just turned a blind eye.
but what, you take it all for granted.
why in the world did you have to say that to them ?
being in ncc doesn give you the right to go insult their cca right.
they are your friends you know ?
some are even your best friends.
did you even think how they would have felt ?
what, putting the signboard on their chest means showing off their boobs.
please, you dont have any rights to say that.
you aint some big shot, so keep your damn prejudicism to yourself.
you hurt your own best friend, you made her cry.
how could you ? i actually didn even wanted to bother telling you all these.
but what ? you hurt my best friends, theres no reason why i shouldn be standing up for them.
you take advantage of the fact that they are kind & sweet,
push them around like some ball, treat them as toys.
have you ever considered how they would have felt ?
you're just playing with their feelings, their friendship with you.
you're hypocritical, on the outside, act as if you're so chummy with me,
but inside you tell your bf how much you hate me.
& i wanna bet 6849813068461 dollars, you're going to say.
you did nothing, so i cant say anything.
i'm standing up for my friends this time round, no more turning a blind eye.
when you want them, you act chummy with them, when you dont, you treat them as toys, free to give away.
HELLO ?!?!?! they are humans ! not some toys who has no feelings nor emotions !
dont think just because you have the backup fo your boyfriend, i'll shut up.
because you can be 100% assured, i wont shut up this time round.
& hello !? you have no right to despise others, no right to critise about their cca alright !
so what if they cant march ?! no big deal ! you dont fucking march in class do you?
you're pushing your limits, just because no one stands up to tell you all these,
doesn mean we're mute, we have our limits too.
you have no right to comment on whether people want to show off their boobs or not alright,
because simply, you are nothing, no one.
unless you can prove with scientific evidence that you are somehow blood related to them, shut up.
& yesterday, so what if i was looking at him, you mean i dont have the rights to look at him ?
then tell me why you have the rights to look at YOUR boyfriend ?
it simply makes no sense.
you can push others around, but i tell you, definitely not me.
i wont get pushed around & keep quiet after that.
SHUT UP OKE!
i'm standing up to you today, i hope you read this, & please, wake up.
today you shouted at your own best friends, insulting their cca, even if it was a joke, that was really too much, YOU MADE YOUR FRIENDS CRY ALRIGHT?!?!
dont think i'm not refering to you, because i am.

PLEASE HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR OTHERS IF NOT YOURSELF CAN !

school life -.-

school started like what, 4 days ago ? & i'm here whining about having the holidays back already.
secondary 2 is so much more stressful than last year, where we were still innocent little secondary 1s.
here's to list.

Literature, Ms Kamath
Maths & Home Tutor, Ms Olivia Low
English, Ms Sharon Lam
Art, Mr Ling
MT, Wu Qi
Science, Mrs Jennifer Neo
Geography, Mrs Tan Boon Yen
DNT, Mr Halid.

& Chairman is Azhar.
& Vice Chairman is Khairiyana.
Class commitee, not much of a change.

First day, quite slackish, & then the homework starts pilling in one by one, wait, let me change my statement, many by many.
And i just realised, i have alot of undone holiday assignment left undone ! What ? i'm like supposed to have done them in the holidays but nooo, i didn, & so i have to finish them now.
The classrooms position changed, now 2/7 is taking last year 2/2's classroom i think.
Its rather stuffy, considering we are near to the toilet, but thank god, we have 2/9 beside us ! (:
One thing sadly, is that odd numbers are on one side, & even numbers on the other, cant even look up at all.

I'm bored, i'm reading The Giver, golly, i'm sick & down with the fever and all. I need to find a " Angels & Airwaves ", I-Empire album! GODD. ITS OUT OF STOCK FOR NEARBY! THE NEAREST IS LIKE, WHAT, AT VIVO OR WHAT ??
puck thatttt.
okay, thats all.

i wonder how he is getting along.
i actually miss him
when i see him keeping all his problems by himself, i feel sad.
i want to be there for him, like if he has any problems, he could tell me about them.
but no, he tend to keep things to himself.
thats why i like him,
he's different from other guys.
he is very different,
he's weak inside, & he bottles things up.
for other guys, they dont, its like a normal thing for them to tell everyone.
they have this thing, to think, violence solves, no it doesn.
well, i miss the old happy him (:

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

happy new year people !
last night countdown was a blast !
since had a chalet, decided to hang around,
went to the lan shop to blog & all,
then walked to the park with karkheng, liangxian, shirley & xinying.
the boys scared me alot, so i ran to maria's house,
sadly, we both got scared of each other -.-
then her mom spray dyed my hair, many fucking different colours, ahaha.
thank you loads aunty!
then maria got her hair sprayed too!
went down to downtown back to get spray cans.
stefanie's brother, Jin Hao was with us so we all bought cans too :)
& here comes the fun part :p
maria, i & jinhao got sprayed like fuck & it was seriously yucky to have all those spray stuff in your face, no air to breath, no nothing, shit. RAWR.
& we then went into D' Marqueeeeee
it was Jocie Guo singing some chinese songs first.
& loads of die hard fans were like screaming " wo ai ni meimei ! " meaning i love you.
& some guys, my age i think, was like chasing like fuck just to get the autographed balloons by her, & what he did ? he pushed & stepped & whacked people just to get to touch the balloons.
i was fucking pissed at him, for pushing me until i almost hit the ground, i fucking stepped on him foot, like really hard, then he said " something something, bitch "
all i said was " nb la, fuck off "
then he didn come near me already, ahaha, what a shit.
then countdown was awesome, but not much of dancing together.
12-3 was techno nonstop i think, left already by then, had alot of fun spraying people.
saw alot of people too.
then went to meet John & Shafiq.
got sprayed by people AGAIN.
this time it was a really hard one, cos 5 people came running after me & maria just to spray us, we got our butts shit.
decided to go back chalet to bath & all.
then came out again.
followed Shafiq & John, but i couldn get into Platinium Lounge cos i was underaged -.-
felt fucking bad because, because of me, Shafiq & the rest had to sit outside.
went back to the chalet instead, because didn feel well.
so yeahs, slept until this morning.
RAWR,
came home & slept more.
i feel like a pig, ahaha.
just woke up actually.
ahahaha.
* happy new year *