4th post for the day

4th post for the day.
pathetic i know !
today's so boringgggg.
packed the camp stufff.
i tell you i'm being so uptight.
but dont know why, i just am.
fuckkk me !

godd kill me.
i'm having a fever :(
sickening la !
come at this time.


i hateeee myself cannn!

why am i such a fucking fool.
whyy ?!
first you tell me you have a certain liking for me.
now you say you absolutely have no feelings towards me.
why am i such a fucking fool to actually believe everythingggg !?!?!?!??!?!?!?
melissa,
you should just fucking go and diee,
stick your head somewhere & cry for fuck's sake.

i hate myself, to the utter core.
to think i was so naive.
thought everything was picking up.
thought everything was going to be smooth sailing, or something near.
but nooo, it was fucking stupidity on my part.
i trusted what you said.
i trusted everything you said,
& now you crush them all once again.
you think its easy let go ?
you think so ?
its nott!
ugh forget it okay.
its always like this,
you built up that confidence in me,
& then here you come crushing it again.
it hurts so badly,
i want to hide somewhere for now.
k.
melissa is fucking crying.